Episodes

“It’s like, whoa, was that Jay Leno? No. It was George Lucas.”

DoorsCon26 hits Val Verde, which means the convention center is packed with shirtless Jim Morrison freaks, suspicious Ray Manzarek lookalikes, and exactly one self-declared Doors legacy act. Enter Ed Zed, frontman of The Wind...

“Just a bunch of toilet paper with nothing on it. That’s how serious he’s taking this show.”

“Clare, we have a no number two rule in the Rock & Roll RV.”

All Aboard The Val Verde Crazy Train with Chandler Dean Val Verde's $15 billion transit miracle has 13 riders, zero credibility, and one communications director who really should not be allowed near a microphone. Stephen Ribb...

“Old man, take a look at my rock. I’m a lot like you.”

“Rules are kind of like your face, Golf. Made to be broke.”

The Murder & Sinkhole Capital of the World Val Verde did it again. Producer Scotty has UPDATED THE OPEN and made it official: we have retained our rightful title as the Murder Capital of the World. And in a coordinated civic ...

Whisp Turlington is salty. And for once, it’s not because Bastrd AI is generating “Hogan’s Heroes” deepfake erotica. No. Today, the Val Verde City Council has declared war on Turlington Manor (the dead mall that Whisp lives i...

Another morning on 108.9 The Hawk , and the Val Verde Radio Wars grind on… Unresolved, undignified, and somehow wetter than ever. Whisp Turlington and Geoff “The Angry Man” Garlock continue broadcasting through pure spite, us...

“Even if you weren’t the Joe Walsh we wanted, you were the Joe Walsh we got.”

"Geoff, I think I know why Enya's not calling."

“A brand new age. A brand new day.”

“He did a four-hour episode on Staind.”

“If this happens every year, make it a float.”

“Styx is the only band where every song has a gun.”

“67 souls captured, sent home courtesy of Whisp Turlington. You’re welcome.”

“Give Kermit the chair!”

“I spent most of my time in the country of Kokomo, where I am now a legal resident.”

"I don’t care who you are, where you’re from — funny’s funny.”

You’ll have to forgive me, fellas — I just needed to take a moment to remember one of the greats.

The One Where Dog Boy Touches Your Funnel Cake

Matt Gourley Is Dutch Swanson — 104 Years, 8 Wars, and Now Your DJ

“Y stands for… You Never Leave. You go in, you never leave.”