Episodes

Val Verde Vertical Film Festival with BriTANick Season Six Finale! BriTANicK are back in Val Verde for their second appearance in four years, and this time Brian McElhaney and Nick Kocher are not trying to sell out Dingbat’s. They’re here to present their Hulu comedy Pizza Movie at the Val Verde Vertical Film Festival, where every movie is shown the way God, Marvin Scorsese and a heavily armed theater staff intended: cropped into an unforgiving vertical nightmare. On this Season Six fin...

Moontan, The Wet Horn and Samantha Mule This week on 108.9 The Hawk, Whisp Turlington and Geoff “The Angry Man” Garlock survive All Request Friday, Grand Funk Railroad, and the sudden realization that Golden Earring’s Moontan might be a secret prog-rock masterpiece hiding behind “Radar Love.” What starts as a normal Hawk broadcast quickly becomes a cursed classic rock investigation involving Meg White’s texting style, Rock Dolls, BASTRD AI, Samantha Fox, Samantha Mule, and the terrifying possibi...

“My pants got too political, so I left them by the Golden Tee.”

Whisp Turlington and Geoff “The Angry Man” Garlock are back in the Rock & Roll RV, where Sammy Hagar still refuses to explain the one true way to rock, Mayor Lee Roth is cutting multiple ribbons on Hog Street, and Big Truck is preparing to hawkcast from the Val Verde Municipal Dump VIP Preview Night. Plus, the kids of Val Verde are being forced to learn Squeeze lyrics before multiplication, which is how you build a better future. This week, comedian and longtime Daily Show writer Matt Koff...

“I did not want to be a Doobie Brother. I didn’t want to be a Doobie sister, Doobie auntie, nothing.”

It’s Whisp Plays Anything He Wants Wednesday on 108.9 The Hawk, which means Whisp Turlington has seized full control of the playlist, threatened Val Verde with multiple Tormado warnings, and dedicated emotionally devastating Mike + The Mechanics to anyone with a dead dad. This week, legendary rock journalist Guy Trinkler drops by the Rock & Roll RV to promote his new self-published memoir, Songs, a 655-page list of songs he either helped write, inspired, or assumes were probably about him. Alon...

“My title is assistant procurement and sourcing manager. Rockin' Grandma’s Hot Sauce.”

“It’s like, whoa, was that Jay Leno? No. It was George Lucas.”

DoorsCon26 hits Val Verde, which means the convention center is packed with shirtless Jim Morrison freaks, suspicious Ray Manzarek lookalikes, and exactly one self-declared Doors legacy act. Enter Ed Zed, frontman of The Windows, who insists he is not running a tribute band. He is preserving the spirit of The Doors through legal gray areas, naked vocals, and a deeply troubling origin story involving Robbie Krieger, Benedict Canyon, and a Toyota Yaris. Joe Wengert, co-creator of the upcomin...

“Just a bunch of toilet paper with nothing on it. That’s how serious he’s taking this show.”

“Clare, we have a no number two rule in the Rock & Roll RV.”

All Aboard The Val Verde Crazy Train with Chandler Dean Val Verde's $15 billion transit miracle has 13 riders, zero credibility, and one communications director who really should not be allowed near a microphone. Stephen Ribble arrived at the Rock & Roll RV to pitch the Val Verde Crazy Train to a skeptical public. He came prepared with talking points. He left under police escort, seated in an oversized rocking chair, having admitted to a pattern of automobile-related incidents that spans at lea...

“Old man, take a look at my rock. I’m a lot like you.”

“Rules are kind of like your face, Golf. Made to be broke.”

The Murder & Sinkhole Capital of the World Val Verde did it again. Producer Scotty has UPDATED THE OPEN and made it official: we have retained our rightful title as the Murder Capital of the World. And in a coordinated civic achievement, we have also been crowned the Sinkhole Capital of the World. The earth continues to open. We continue to broadcast. It’s a standard morning inside the Rock & Roll RV. Whisp is doing impressions. Geoff is fielding complaints from the Val Verde Police Department...

Whisp Turlington is salty. And for once, it’s not because Bastrd AI is generating “Hogan’s Heroes” deepfake erotica. No. Today, the Val Verde City Council has declared war on Turlington Manor (the dead mall that Whisp lives in), and they’re doing it the only way Val Verde knows how: Through zoning. A new councilman, Edmund Sullivan (Eric Cunningham), comes into the Rock & Roll RV to explain why Whisp’s home has been rezoned into a high-density industrial zone… which means Captain D’s...

Another morning on 108.9 The Hawk, and the Val Verde Radio Wars grind on… Unresolved, undignified, and somehow wetter than ever. Whisp Turlington and Geoff “The Angry Man” Garlock continue broadcasting through pure spite, using Jon Bon Jovi tickets, hostile listener interactions, and wildly irresponsible sponsors as weapons in the never-ending fight against 98.6 The Squirt. Also in this broadcast: A Jon Bon Jovi ticket giveaway that becomes psychological warfare Geoff live reads a new ad fro...

“Even if you weren’t the Joe Walsh we wanted, you were the Joe Walsh we got.”

"Geoff, I think I know why Enya's not calling."

“A brand new age. A brand new day.”

“He did a four-hour episode on Staind.”

“If this happens every year, make it a float.”

“Styx is the only band where every song has a gun.”

“67 souls captured, sent home courtesy of Whisp Turlington. You’re welcome.”