Guest Episodes

Val Verde Vertical Film Festival with BriTANick Season Six Finale! BriTANicK are back in Val Verde for their second appearance in four years, and this time Brian McElhaney and Nick Kocher are not trying to sell out Dingbat’s. They’re here to present their Hulu comedy Pizza Movie at the Val Verde Vertical Film Festival, where every movie is shown the way God, Marvin Scorsese and a heavily armed theater staff intended: cropped into an unforgiving vertical nightmare. On this Season Six fin...

Whisp Turlington and Geoff “The Angry Man” Garlock are back in the Rock & Roll RV, where Sammy Hagar still refuses to explain the one true way to rock, Mayor Lee Roth is cutting multiple ribbons on Hog Street, and Big Truck is preparing to hawkcast from the Val Verde Municipal Dump VIP Preview Night. Plus, the kids of Val Verde are being forced to learn Squeeze lyrics before multiplication, which is how you build a better future. This week, comedian and longtime Daily Show writer Matt Koff...

“I did not want to be a Doobie Brother. I didn’t want to be a Doobie sister, Doobie auntie, nothing.”

It’s Whisp Plays Anything He Wants Wednesday on 108.9 The Hawk, which means Whisp Turlington has seized full control of the playlist, threatened Val Verde with multiple Tormado warnings, and dedicated emotionally devastating Mike + The Mechanics to anyone with a dead dad. This week, legendary rock journalist Guy Trinkler drops by the Rock & Roll RV to promote his new self-published memoir, Songs, a 655-page list of songs he either helped write, inspired, or assumes were probably about him. Alon...

“My title is assistant procurement and sourcing manager. Rockin' Grandma’s Hot Sauce.”

DoorsCon26 hits Val Verde, which means the convention center is packed with shirtless Jim Morrison freaks, suspicious Ray Manzarek lookalikes, and exactly one self-declared Doors legacy act. Enter Ed Zed, frontman of The Windows, who insists he is not running a tribute band. He is preserving the spirit of The Doors through legal gray areas, naked vocals, and a deeply troubling origin story involving Robbie Krieger, Benedict Canyon, and a Toyota Yaris. Joe Wengert, co-creator of the upcomin...

“Just a bunch of toilet paper with nothing on it. That’s how serious he’s taking this show.”

“Clare, we have a no number two rule in the Rock & Roll RV.”

All Aboard The Val Verde Crazy Train with Chandler Dean Val Verde's $15 billion transit miracle has 13 riders, zero credibility, and one communications director who really should not be allowed near a microphone. Stephen Ribble arrived at the Rock & Roll RV to pitch the Val Verde Crazy Train to a skeptical public. He came prepared with talking points. He left under police escort, seated in an oversized rocking chair, having admitted to a pattern of automobile-related incidents that spans at lea...

“Rules are kind of like your face, Golf. Made to be broke.”

Welcome to CLASSIC HAWK — a weekly look back at the greatest broadcasts in 108.9 The Hawk history. Originally released on July 25, 2022, this episode marked Tom Scharpling’s first appearance on 108.9 The Hawk as the instantly unforgettable and aggressive Big Scotty. Whisp Turlington and Geoff “The Angry Man” Garlock welcome contest winner and committed Dire Straits fan Big Scotty into the Hawknest, where he believes he’s there to collect Val Verde County Fair tickets. Instead, he lea...

Whisp Turlington is salty. And for once, it’s not because Bastrd AI is generating “Hogan’s Heroes” deepfake erotica. No. Today, the Val Verde City Council has declared war on Turlington Manor (the dead mall that Whisp lives in), and they’re doing it the only way Val Verde knows how: Through zoning. A new councilman, Edmund Sullivan (Eric Cunningham), comes into the Rock & Roll RV to explain why Whisp’s home has been rezoned into a high-density industrial zone… which means Captain D’s...

The Hawk is back, and Val Verde is once again experiencing the kind of civic growth that only happens when a man (Whisp Turlington) invents an AI named BASTRD… and another man opens a pet store that accidentally becomes a dogfighting arena. This week on 108.9 The Hawk (Val Verde’s second favorite classic rock station), Whisp Turlington and Geoff “The Angry Man” Garlock break down the grand opening of Woof It Up, the newest pet store in town, owned and operated by local entrepreneur Jeff We...

“Even if you weren’t the Joe Walsh we wanted, you were the Joe Walsh we got.”

"I don’t care who you are, where you’re from — funny’s funny.”

You’ll have to forgive me, fellas — I just needed to take a moment to remember one of the greats.

Whisp Turlington and Geoff “The Angry Man” Garlock welcome their longtime friend Bo Merman — Val Verde’s legendary Rock & Roll Lifeguard — played by comedian Jon Gabrus. Bo shares outrageous stories from decades guarding Val Verde’s pools, rivers, and hot tubs: Gene Simmons getting his tongue stuck in a pool filter Jimmy Buffett blasting angel dust at the Val Verde Community Pool Michael McDonald cannonballing into… questionable waters. Iman destroying Bo in a poolside fight. ...

Matt Gourley Is Dutch Swanson — 104 Years, 8 Wars, and Now Your DJ

“Y stands for… You Never Leave. You go in, you never leave.”

"Thanks for the finger!"

The Boss hath arrived.

Big changes are rocking Val Verde, and 108.9 The Hawk has the scoop: Sharney’s has been sold! Whisp and Geoff welcome the brand-new CEO, Maria Ann Shurzabich (played by Kristen Bartlett), who’s here to explain why the legendary buffet chain is turning bad food and lots of it… into mid food and less of it. Sharney’s Shake-Up: 82 locations sold off to the Schurzabich Corporation—because who needs endless buffets and multiple dead bodies in fridges? From Buffets to Fidget Spinners: Turns ...

It's time to Truckabrate at Carl Luciferi Ford!

Rent! The musical! On the beach!