Welcome To Sharney's with Kristen Bartlett

Jason Gore (00:01)
You know, a funny thing about this song, Geoff. The Unforgiven from the Black Album. None more black.

Geoff Garlock (00:04)
What's that, Wisp?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Jason Gore (00:12)
Well,

none more black. ⁓ Yeah, that's from Metallica, 1991's Metallica album. I was talking to my good buddy, James Hetfield, our mountain over there on the other side, west side of Val Verde. No, and when he was going, going back into mountain form.

Geoff Garlock (00:23)
my god. Were you talking to when he was the mountain or when he was Papa, Papa Hat?

So if it was like the turbo team, like in between the transformation, alright.

Jason Gore (00:35)
Right. He was

he had some trees on him already. He was just like, ⁓ well, and I'm like, got a question about the unforgiven. At least three trees on his straight edge tattoo on his neck. ⁓ No, but I was saying, you know, we were talking about the unforgiven and I said, the old man. What's the latest on him? And he said he is still on the set.

Geoff Garlock (00:39)
Right. Right.

The straight-edge tattoo on his neck had a couple of trees on it.

Jason Gore (01:03)
of the unforgiven. still lives in that hole. He's still clawing his way out. He's still marking the days. And if you thought that old bastard looked like an old bastard back in 1991, who, baby, get ready. He's basically a time capsule is what Hetfield told me. They're going to crack it open in 10 more years. Oh, he's like, I can't find the old man.

Geoff Garlock (01:08)
God.

my god, is Geraldo Rivera gonna be there? Crack it open.

I gotta say though, the hole that that old man is in in the Unforgiven, infinitely better than Val Verde elderly living facilities, which is one of the worst elderly living facilities in all of America. Just, it's long and clunky and you're just like, alright, none of this sounds appealing for old people.

Jason Gore (01:28)
Well... Yeah.

my god.

Terrible name to start.

Call it like gentle acres or out to pasture.

Geoff Garlock (01:48)
my god.

Sleepy deaths.

Jason Gore (01:52)
So now don't do that one, Geoff. Don't do that one. That was a little, that's a lot like the first one. So.

Geoff Garlock (01:54)
don't do that. god. Hey Jason I actually

invested in Sleepy. Can you get my accountant on the horn? Thank you.

Jason Gore (02:02)
Yeah, yeah, I'll I'll see if I can get Frankie on

the line. That's good. our producer, Jason, over there, because you may remember a couple of episodes back, our producer, Scotty, shit the bed with all of his drops. So we fired him. And now Jason Gore is our producer. And ⁓ yeah. Hey, seven. wait, wait. Is is this an I got to say? Hold on. Hold on a second. Well, I got to find the fucking music. Jesus.

Geoff Garlock (02:20)
If there is one lesson to say, I gotta say, and this isn't I gotta say, this 100, I already said it isn't I gotta say, please give me my, my God,

Jesus, here, I'm gonna forget what I gotta say. You know, I gotta say, if there is one rule to terrestrial radio.

Jason Gore (02:30)
Hold on, here we go.

Geoff Garlock (02:40)
One rule, you can't have too many drops, but you gotta have some drops. And Scotty never learned that rule. Never learned that God damn rule. And I didn't understand three quarters of the ones he threw down. So Scotty, if we ever see you again, less drops, more Twister references. Thank you.

Jason Gore (02:52)
No.

your butt. That was a good that was a good one Jason. That was a that was a Jurassic Park one. No you're almost there. That was good. ⁓

Geoff Garlock (03:00)
⁓ That was a Jurassic Park one. That was, you're almost there. That was definitely the Jurassic

Park, not Twister, and I did say Twister.

Jason Gore (03:09)
One rule to rule them all! What movie is that from?

Geoff Garlock (03:13)
God, is that from The Matrix? That's The Matrix, man. I love when Neo Geo says that. It is just the best. Do you want the red pill, the mauve pill, or the blue pill, or the puce pill? And I'm like, how many goddamn pills does Neo Geo have?

Jason Gore (03:15)
That is the Matrix, 1999, the Matrix. Oh, I love it. Seven, seven, which, oh.

I'll

take the Flintstone vitamin, please. And then Morpheus is like, he and Morpheus is like, that is not an option. And you're like, ⁓ my God. It just keeps putting them on the whole time. Hey, since we are talking movies, we should say it really quickly here ⁓ that we are sponsored by the Val Verde Dollar Center, Sinus in the Sinus in the Cinemadrome.

Geoff Garlock (03:30)
With extra iron, poise.

and they puts on another set of weird sunglasses with no arms and you're like, you're wearing multiple pairs.

Jason Gore (03:55)
And that's you. That's one dollar dirtiest. Dirtiest theaters you've ever been in, not cleaned. Why would you clean that? Real gamble, but hey, it's a dollar. So you're gambling a dollar. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? What movies are we seeing this week down at the Val Verde Dollar Cinematron?

Geoff Garlock (04:03)
Real gamble if they're ever sweeping it up.

It's a goddamn dollar. What are you gonna, complain? What are you gonna do? I'd be...

Well speaking of Twister, we're not gonna be seeing Twisters. We're gonna see actually Twistering, which was a made for Sci-Fi channel movie. It was somehow with Chubby Checker in it and Zalman King wrote it, so it's erotic too, but only for a dollar, so.

Jason Gore (04:19)
Ooh. ⁓

Twistering. Was that the Chubby Checker one?

⁓ my God, it's erotic as hell. He's

like, come on, baby, let's do my twist. That was the dirtiest line in the whole thing. And everyone's like, cut. Chubby. You can't make up your own lines. And he's just pointing at his crotch the whole time. All of the movie, even the director saying cut.

Geoff Garlock (04:41)
God. ⁓

And this was all in the movie, by the way. Yeah. The director, they leave it in, the

editor's like, we don't have, we can't, have a note to forward, this is gonna end up in the dollar, it's in the madrome.

Jason Gore (04:56)
Yep. And

Chubby Checker is just just pointing at his crotch and staring at it. And he looks up and he winks and he's like, what do you think? And then a fake twister comes through and ⁓ it looks awful. Yes. Twistering. So it's a dollar worth a dollar worth a dollar head on down to what? Jason, really? OK, we will go there

Geoff Garlock (05:08)
and it looks bad. There's like birdemic bad and then there's this twistering bad. But it's worth a dollar. It's worth a dollar.

Jason Gore (05:27)
News Radio 8888, I am Ness Trumpphh

Geoff Garlock (05:33)
And I'm Hunt Flangle.

Jason Gore (05:36)
And this is the news breaking news. Sharney's family has sold off all of the Sharney's business. All 82 locations in the Val Verde area have been sold to the Scherzabich Corporation. And ⁓ that's a big one. That's a big one there. That's a big one. That's a big one.

Geoff Garlock (05:57)
That's a big one. don't know what it will entail. It's just a big

one. know Sharney's no longer owns Sharney's. Breaking news. Breaking news. It's a big one. Does anyone noticing how big this is? Are we picking up on it? All right. All right.

Jason Gore (06:04)
show. Big one. Breaking news. Big one. Big big one. So this is a very large one. All right. Well, we're sending the

signals back to the other stations. Once again, I'm Ness Trump. Big one.

Geoff Garlock (06:22)
Real big one.

Jason Gore (06:28)
⁓ my god. Wow.

Geoff Garlock (06:30)
You know, I hate when

they expect us to overreact to things.

Jason Gore (06:33)
Like,

when are we supposed to cut out of that? First off, we're down here at the beach house, our beautiful 108.9, the Huck Beach House right behind us. We're we're in front of it and around it and on the slanted and enchanted deck that is just it's hard to hold on to it. And now we get this news. Half of it is gone.

Geoff Garlock (06:36)
That's what-

And at this point, this point, half of it's gone.

We lost the band, who came by in the seven o'clock hour. They came by for the Slanted Enchanted and they are just dead. They were here to promote Pavement. They're ironic, maybe a documentary, maybe not. Who's We don't know, we don't know. But now we'll never know because Pavement is dead.

Jason Gore (06:56)
We did. Dead. Dead. And... Yeah.

Is it? Who? What is it? I'll never know because

they're dead. They're dead. I mean, it's almost the end of summer, so it's almost the end of summer. I'm going to be very sad to leave this house, but I'm going to be very jazzed to come back next year. It is making a lot of wiki creakies. So like that one that just. I mean, there sounds like that where you're just like what is move your finger?

Geoff Garlock (07:13)
And basically at this point, the beach house is almost dead, but...

It's almost the end of Sabi, come on.

It's... That one was... one's... That happens every time I move my finger at this point.

Jason Gore (07:36)
See, he just keeps moving his finger and that's the sound. It's almost like he's controlling the wood. ⁓ wow. So that... My God, wow. Big news.

Geoff Garlock (07:37)
Yeah, just keep doing it.

No, no, don't put this on me. But my God, oh wow, Sharney's.

And this again, 8888 News, if you're gonna, you gotta let us know when we should be saying, my God, big news, yeah. Just help us here at 108.9 The Hawk.

Jason Gore (07:53)
Yes, thank you. Thank you. Give us a little.

Yeah, just give us a little lead time to say, big news is on the way, fellas. It's shooting right down. be a middle sister station or or yeah, let us be the big brother. I mean, I'm paying for most of it.

Geoff Garlock (08:03)
Don't be a big sister station and be a jerk to us and-

middle sister station or the little sister station looking up

to us and going hey we'll tell you when to cut out because we want to be like you when we grow up. Wow.

Jason Gore (08:15)
It's got big news on it. But it is big news and if there is

big news in the news we're covering it. All the news you can use. Or the news you can lose. It's news time on 108.9 The Hawk. My god, god. Sharney's. No one eats for free. I've been eating there and paying for every meal. My god, since what, 62? 62! I've been going there and just putting it in my mouth and uh...

Geoff Garlock (08:38)
Easily. 62.

You haven't paid at

any other restaurant in Val Verde since... 65 at least.

Jason Gore (08:45)
No, no,

I go to I go into Uncle Petrutio's and I'm just like, see uncle and he's like, wait, why don't you pay this time? I'm like, I can't hear you. Bloom. just I float out of there. I'm just like, bite. I get a doggy bag. I get a doggy bag because I got to give it to my dog, Winston. With all loves floating meats, Jesus Christ. But if it is big, big news, you know, it's right here on the 20th rated.

Geoff Garlock (08:54)
And then that helium ham just floats right in your mouth. You float out.

You get a doggy back.

my God, Winston loves floating. My God.

Jason Gore (09:15)
Morning show. I don't know how we got this but ⁓ we do have a scoop It's a scoop and ladies and gentlemen the new CEO for Sharney's Maria Ann Shurzabich Welcome to the Whisp and ⁓ I will sit Whoa a Freudian slip the Geoff and Whisp show. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome It really is ⁓

Geoff Garlock (09:18)
What?

Whoa!

Tell me more about your penis. Thank you.

Kristen (09:38)
Wow.

Little bit of a power struggle. Thank you so much, and thank you,

Geoff Garlock (09:43)
Yes.

Kristen (09:44)
by the way, for getting my name right. Shurzabich that's the correct pronunciation. Sometimes people get it a little wrong.

Jason Gore (09:49)
Sure is one.

Geoff Garlock (09:49)
Do people

pronounce it wrongly often?

Jason Gore (09:52)
Yeah, how would

they say it Maria Ann? Sure's a bitch.

Kristen (09:54)
Well, I can say it. Sometimes it's

sure as a bitch, as opposed to right. So it's such sure as a bitch. No emphasis anywhere. So thank you.

Jason Gore (10:01)
Well, she got you. OK, so

sure is a bitch.

Geoff Garlock (10:05)
Strong emphasis

on the high, almost like they're at emo phillips

Kristen (10:09)
Shurzabich. Exactly. exactly.

You got it, you got it.

Jason Gore (10:13)
Well, Maria Ann Scherzabitch, it is a very it's an honor to have you here. The Scherzabitch Cooperation ⁓ now owns Sharney's. Walk us walk us through that acquisition, please.

Kristen (10:19)
Thank you.

We bought the whole thing.

Well, know, Sharney's came to us first and foremost because sales have been slipping. So, I'm working absolutely and a lot of reasons for that. Yeah.

Jason Gore (10:30)
really? So, so with

Geoff Garlock (10:33)
Really?

Jason Gore (10:36)
almost 90 locations in the greater Val Verde area and over 90 buffets in every single location, they're losing money on that. you chasing you writing this down? Crazy throwing a pen.

Kristen (10:38)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

That's right.

Geoff Garlock (10:47)
This seems crazy to me.

Kristen (10:47)
Listen, losing money, hand over fist. And I'll tell you

this, it's not necessarily their fault. We do have like an impending recession that's coming. You know, I think that people are staying home. This is the news. This is the news. People are spending less money.

Jason Gore (10:56)
What?

Geoff Garlock (10:57)
I don't know about it. What is this? are talking about?

Jason Gore (10:59)
What is? We just

heard the news. The news was Sharney's. I didn't hear anything about a recession.

Geoff Garlock (11:02)
I know, and Mama Charney has

Kristen (11:04)
you.

Geoff Garlock (11:05)
been putting strong tariffs on all of her customers lately, and I think that's been working out great, so I don't know what you could be talking about.

Jason Gore (11:08)
Right.

Kristen (11:09)
It's simply not,

the tariffs haven't worked. And there's so much to that, absolutely. The tariffs haven't worked. People are spending more than ever and getting less. And that's not OK. So people are choosing to stay home. They're choosing to go to street carts as opposed to eating in Charni's. And they've been losing money.

Jason Gore (11:13)
Thanks.

Wow.

Geoff Garlock (11:27)
Ugh.

Jason Gore (11:28)
I don't trust the street

carts. I walk up, I see those guys. It's like car knees handed me meat. You might as well be putting three or four screws missing out of the Gravitron body than hand me some. ⁓ that's the best one.

Geoff Garlock (11:29)
I don't trust the streetcarts.

Although I do like Carny's Handing Me Meat, that one specific one. The rest of them, when it looks

like Carny's Handing Me Meat, not into it, but... Carny's Handing Me Meat, those are good guys and they got good meats. Just tell me what it is!

Jason Gore (11:45)
Just yes. Tell me what it is. Tell Wisp what

Kristen (11:45)
The actual.

Jason Gore (11:51)
it is. If you tell me it's carneys handing me meat, I'm going to know what it is. But if you're a carney and it's just like hot dog land. Blatter.

Kristen (12:02)
Listen,

I respect where you're coming from. I respect where you're coming from, but think about this. You guys are in a different economic class than the average Valverdean.

Geoff Garlock (12:03)
Get back to the rock and roller.

Jason Gore (12:05)
Yeah, get back to it.

I

Geoff Garlock (12:10)
Yeah, yeah, I'm actually lower than the economic, most tech people in their economic class, but it's

Jason Gore (12:11)
am. am. Not this guy. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah.

Kristen (12:16)
Well-

Geoff Garlock (12:17)
the yin and the yang of morning radio, you know what I'm saying? ⁓ geez, sorry, I moved my finger there. Sorry, I got too excited by talking about how poor I was and all of a sudden,

Kristen (12:20)
Well, the typical customer... Hold on.

Jason Gore (12:20)
Hold it. Holy shit. No, that's a weird sound from the old deck. That's the weird sound from the old deck. OK, so the

average customer blah, blah, blah, what?

Kristen (12:33)
average customer has not been coming into the They've been losing money, a lot of reasons, like I said, there was the recession that's coming, there is inflation that's here, and there's the dead body that was found in the fridge.

Jason Gore (12:38)
Wait

Geoff Garlock (12:42)
Nostradamus.

I mean when, which one? Beep beep beep, back up, back

Kristen (12:48)
That's the problem. Which one?

Geoff Garlock (12:49)
up.

Kristen (12:49)
That's exactly it. There have been multiple dead bodies because we have a number of buffets. Obviously we're having to close some of these buffets. We're going down to 25. First, listen, listen.

Jason Gore (12:57)
Uh-huh. No, no, no. my God, this is

Geoff Garlock (12:57)
Whoa. T-T-T. ⁓

Jason Gore (13:02)
the worst goddamn news I think I've ever heard. Outside of the news that I heard earlier! Big news!

Geoff Garlock (13:04)
This is terrible.

Kristen (13:07)
Listen, listen, Sharni's has always been about bad food but plenty of it and that's where we turn things around. We're about to make medium food but less of it.

Geoff Garlock (13:08)
Pig noose.

Jason Gore (13:14)
That is true.

Geoff Garlock (13:15)
That is true. They didn't use that as their tagline,

but are you gonna be using that as your tagline? Bad food and lots of it.

Jason Gore (13:18)
Yeah, you it's it's awful.

Kristen (13:21)
No!

Jason Gore (13:22)
It's bad food, but lots of it is that are you taking away the tagline? No one eats for free. No one eats for free at Chorney's. thank God.

Kristen (13:22)
We're t-

Listen.

Absolutely not.

The Sharney's promise has been and always been that nobody eats for free. But a common thing that we all knew was that we were going to go into Sharney's and eat very bad food, but so much. And so that's where we stop. That's where we turn things around. Moving forward, we're going to have mid-food, which is better.

Jason Gore (13:36)
Good.

Geoff Garlock (13:43)
I mean, yes.

Jason Gore (13:43)
⁓ okay. Okay.

Gotcha.

Is that something the kids say? this is mid hashtag mid food. Is that it?

Geoff Garlock (13:50)
Is that a hashtag mid food? we tick-tocking right now? Hashtag

mid food, slay? Not slay, maybe slay food, hashtag maybe slay?

Kristen (13:56)
Yeah, absolutely. We're bringing in a new generation.

Jason Gore (14:02)
So if I'm eating at the new, so okay, no, I am getting the word from Jason. We do have to go to traffic. And I want to know about all of these. ⁓

Geoff Garlock (14:11)
Disgusting foods we've been eating changes.

Jason Gore (14:13)
Thank you.

Thank you changes. The new changes I or just bad food but plenty of it. Sure is a bitch. She sure is. It's traffic on 108.9 the hawk. 108.9 the hawk traffic with art spart.

Kristen (14:14)
Also the new changes, mean that's why I'm here.

Geoff Garlock (14:16)
Will the tagline

be, no one eats for free at sure's a bitch? Bad foob, I plenty of it, sure's a bitch.

Jesus Christ.

Jason Gore (14:35)
So I think if you're watching my ⁓ what am I gonna pick? Am I gonna pick Axel? BD Joe? Am I picking BD Joe? Am I getting good again at Gina in the crazy taxi or Gus? Hello to all my viewers on Artspart Twitch. my God, who is that? Hello. Christ. All right.

Geoff Garlock (14:39)
⁓

Art, have to start saying hello to all of your listeners on 108.9 The Hawk. This has been going on all GD Summer.

Jason Gore (15:05)
Oh, here we go. I'm going down what I imagine to be Soundgarden Boulevard. Definitely looks like it's over by the cable car. Stop, stop. I got 41 seconds to take this woman down to, it didn't tell me where she's going. I'm gonna guess she's going to the KFC or combination KFC graveyard that just opened in Val Verde. Eat and sleep, eat and sleep folks. Okay, 9.38 worth.

Geoff Garlock (15:27)
Wisp, are you gonna talk to him about this? can't, my god. You can't just guess that these streets

in Crazy Taxi are the same streets as going on in Val Verde.

Jason Gore (15:36)
Balgat

Balgat 44 thank you for your subscription. I enjoy that. Okay, get on in. We're going to the seaside market. Of course I'm referring to the seaside market in Val Verde. No, you're not. You're not.

Geoff Garlock (15:50)
No, but no, I'm looking at the seaside market on Springsteen

Highway. It is empty as hell, but it's the only spot without traffic. There's traffic on bookends of the seaside market.

Jason Gore (15:56)
There's nobody there, art. Alright now, going down.

Go ahead and just pull the feed, pull the feed. I don't understand. We can't do traffic if he's constantly playing this goddamn ancient game. Like.

Geoff Garlock (16:03)
Just pull the goddamn feet on art. I'm...

We got no traffic.

can't believe

he's stuck with a Sega Dreamcast game this entire time!

Jason Gore (16:17)
Why? What?

Well, you don't want to play that guide to the galaxy type in game. There you go, Tick Tock. There you go, Gen Z.

Geoff Garlock (16:26)
God, is he gonna

start doing a leisure suit Larry MS DOS text based adventure game?

Jason Gore (16:32)
⁓

are we playing Dragon's Lair? ⁓ bagoosh. Who was I? Who was that? Who was that?

Geoff Garlock (16:37)
that

had to be. That had to be Chuck Crapp's plaster. One of the best. You remember when Chuck Crapp's plaster sold out Madison Square Garden? My God. And the Verde Dome twice. He did one night that was just the limericks.

Jason Gore (16:41)
What comedian was I doing an impression of? craps plaster message.

⁓ my God and the Verde dome twice. He's like

Jack. did you wake up the hill? They fucked. Bagoosh.

Geoff Garlock (17:02)
I once knew a man from Nantucket and he had a schlong, thank you sch-

Jason Gore (17:07)
⁓

Geoff Garlock (17:11)
Having a blast here!

Kristen (17:13)
Shurzabich, sure as a bitch. Yeah, yeah. Shurzabich. Say it fast.

Geoff Garlock (17:16)
Schuzevich. Schuzevich. Schuzevich.

Kristen (17:27)
Murray is great.

Geoff Garlock (17:28)
I'm worried we're gonna lose the Mega

Buffet. mean, we're gonna find that out, I hope. God, I'm just so, Dave Mustaine might be coming for ya.

Jason Gore (17:31)
My God, please, let's go into something. ⁓

my God, I almost said Scotty. I almost said Scotty. Jason, we are the second rock station in Val Verde. Number two, play me the hardest rockin' song on your board right now that would make us numero uno.

Geoff Garlock (17:40)
Did you see that? Shurzabich, a little bit of a tear went down Wisps cheeks.

Can you do that, Jason?

Jason Gore (17:59)
Alright, it's... I'm not gonna complain, I like it. ⁓

Geoff Garlock (18:02)
I know that it's a great

song, but I wouldn't say the hardest rocking Fleetwood Mac song even, Jesus.

Kristen (18:04)
Nice.

Jason Gore (18:05)
the hardest song. If that's the hardest song,

we got a lot more problems. It's Gypsy on the Hawk.

Geoff Garlock (18:11)
Play the chain.

Jason Gore (20:21)
Jesus Christ Jason, what are you doing to us? Also, I prefer God we can play Silver Springs first next Yeah, let me play sir. ⁓ My god, I do prefer the Billy Corgan version of landslide if you haven't he's like ⁓

Geoff Garlock (20:20)
Jesus... My God... I've been crying this whole frickin' commercial break over here.

Play the green manalishi with the three pronged crown. Go back to Peter Green era and get some heaviness going or something. god.

my.

Corrigan really just brings it all together and every single cover he does. ⁓ my god. Every song I hear I'm just like, could this be whinier? And then Corrigan's like, of course it can be.

Jason Gore (20:49)
my god. That man's voice has got the juice all over it.

And

I see my reflection and I'm just like, I'm like, Duralax, my man, shovel one in. Am I right? Am I right? Rest in power, Billy Corgan. ⁓ Rest in power. Hey, but speaking of.

Geoff Garlock (21:02)
And it's like you can hear the ill-fitting winter cap on his head that's...

God. Rest in power Billy Corgan. Rest in power. He's alive, but just rest in power.

Jason Gore (21:21)
I don't have a segue. Speaking of... I'm rocked. Consider this man rocked. Do you wanna get rocked? Yes, I got rocked. Come out! Ansher's a bitch here. New CEO of Sharnies. You know it, you love it, you're only getting less of it coming up. So... ⁓

Geoff Garlock (21:23)
Really? Because this news is rock-tious. This news of what's been going on.

Come on, come on, come

My god. What is

Kristen (21:43)
Mm-hmm, better

Geoff Garlock (21:45)
happening

Kristen (21:45)
but less.

Geoff Garlock (21:46)
to my Sharni, Scherzo bitch? The question of the hour.

Jason Gore (21:47)
There's the question I was going to ask.

What happens to Ma Charney? Of course, everybody knows you're an idiot if you don't know this, but we'll explain it. You're just a dumb slob if you don't know what this is. And so basically, it's almost like they're Pope. One Ma Charney dies and then all the Sharney's cardinals get together and they elect

Geoff Garlock (21:55)
We don't need to explain this, but we'll explain it.

Mm-hmm.

Kristen (22:06)
Mm-hmm.

Everyone knows.

Mm-hmm.

Jason Gore (22:13)
A new ma sharni. Are you saying that ma sharni is a little more of like a figurehead with no power? In this new? Yes, Krog. Krog. Yep. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Did I sleep through that? Are you?

Geoff Garlock (22:21)
Cause by the way, currently the ma sharni is Sandy. Sandy Krog. No, now we get, you forgot that. We had that one day, you took a nap. The smoke went off. Krog's daughter,

Kristen (22:21)
That's absolutely true.

Geoff Garlock (22:33)
Sandy Krog, who works the drive in over at Sea Bird's Burritos took over. She's ma sharni.

Jason Gore (22:37)
Shit. ⁓

Kristen (22:37)
Yes,

for a long while.

Jason Gore (22:40)
No wonder I'm okay. So yeah, we're we're lot of lead up explain

Geoff Garlock (22:41)
Yeah.

Kristen (22:44)
Listen,

the thing that we want to do is get back to who the Sharney's customer is. It's all about getting back to basics. And well, we like to say it's smart people who don't apply themselves. It's the kind of people who dream of bigger. You want to go to Spain, but you stay home. That's the person who comes to Sharney's And you know what? We want to give them what they want.

Jason Gore (22:52)
Slabs.

Geoff Garlock (22:54)
Mouth breathing chuds.

Jason Gore (23:00)
Okay.

You dream of going

to Spain, then you're like, I don't get Mexican food. And you're like, well, it's not really the same. But ⁓ OK, good. Yeah. So our listeners, basically. Right. So that's why you chose the number 10 radio station in all of El Verde, formerly number one.

Kristen (23:18)
Exactly. That is the prime Sharney's customer. We're looking for people who could be more if they applied themselves. There's a lot of overlap and that's why that I'm here. You know, that's reason I'm here.

Geoff Garlock (23:20)
Exactly, it's Spanish.

Kristen (23:31)
If

we're gonna reach people who could be better and never will, it's this radio station. ⁓

Geoff Garlock (23:38)
breathing chuds.

Jason Gore (23:40)
You

Geoff Garlock (23:40)
Yeah.

Jason Gore (23:40)
want to be on 108.9 the Hawk. I mean, she knows it. Nope.

Geoff Garlock (23:42)
You definitely, you want to be better, but you just can't do it. Come listen to 108.9 The Hawk.

Kristen (23:46)
It's not gonna...

It's simply not going to happen. It's not gonna happen for him, you know?

Jason Gore (23:48)
ain't getting no better. Yep. Ain't

Geoff Garlock (23:51)
Life

Jason Gore (23:51)
getting no

Geoff Garlock (23:52)
ain't getting better than this! 108.9, nah.

Jason Gore (23:52)
better. 108.9 the Hawk. Yep. Everything tastes bad. A lot of it.

Kristen (23:56)
Yeah.

Geoff Garlock (23:58)
My god, so now, I'm of course aware of the Scherzabitch Empire. But let our mouth breathing chuds know, what else is part of the Scherzabitch Empire?

Jason Gore (24:01)
Yeah, my god

Kristen (24:03)
Absolutely.

Jason Gore (24:10)
Yeah, what else do you own that sure is a bitch empire?

Kristen (24:10)
We're in-

Well, everyone knows that Scherzabitch has never done food before. This is our first foray into food. But we do make money. And the way that we make money is fidget spinners of all kinds. ⁓ Exactly.

Jason Gore (24:17)
We all know this. Yes.

Well, I'm on board. This brain wouldn't

work without an old fidget spinner. You know, I'll just play with anything over here. Uh-huh.

Kristen (24:28)
We like objects that just

Geoff Garlock (24:32)
Yes.

Kristen (24:32)
make you feel a little better. And again, a little better. And it's again.

Jason Gore (24:35)
Yeah.

Geoff Garlock (24:35)
Not a lot better, just like a little better, like enough to kind

of- Jesus, sorry, I moved my finger there, yeah. My god.

Jason Gore (24:41)
Jesus, what the hell? ⁓ my God.

Kristen (24:44)
And listen,

it's again, we just know this customer so well. We know this person who, you know, 10 years ago might have been something bigger and now they're here, you know, and.

Jason Gore (24:54)
Hmm

Geoff Garlock (24:55)
And according

to Forbes Magazine, it sure as a bitch is a $10 billion enterprise just because of these goddamn fidget spinners and it's shocking.

Kristen (24:59)
Absolutely. Yeah,

Jason Gore (25:01)
I'm whisper LinkedIn. I've been a legend for so many years, so I know nothing about looking back 10 years and thinking, ⁓ my career could have gone a whole other direction. Maybe if I were at a comedy theater and an agent came to see me and, know, maybe more people came to my show in the river.

Kristen (25:03)
Sure.

Is that true, Riz?

Maybe if it hadn't been...

Geoff Garlock (25:22)
Just did one

That Guy's Cool Showcase. If you just... Just hey... If Bagoosh came and touched your And then all of a sudden...

Kristen (25:24)
in Providence.

Jason Gore (25:26)
Hey! Magoosh!

Kristen (25:28)
Maybe, maybe if that showcase had an-

Maybe if that showcase

hadn't happened the day that the NBA stopped playing for the pandemic. They were like, we don't want to have a pandemic. And you maybe that would have happened. It would have been a different way.

Jason Gore (25:37)
The NBA were just like, yeah, we don't want to die.

Geoff Garlock (25:38)
The NBA.

Jason Gore (25:43)
Do know who kept playing

though? You know, the Harlem Globetrotters. And you know what happened? All dead. All dead. Yeah. Yep. Huge, huge upset. OK.

Geoff Garlock (25:46)
Harlem Globetrotters, half of them dead, but then upset from the Washington Generals. They won a great game, they played a great game. And I mean, everyone

Kristen (25:46)
Mm-hmm. Half of them died. okay, God.

Geoff Garlock (25:57)
wants to look down at what happened during the COVID pandemic, but I say some things were great for the Washington Generals. That was pretty damn cool.

Kristen (26:01)
Some things are good.

Jason Gore (26:01)
I thought it was pretty damn good. I thought it was good. Pretty

damn good. ⁓ So. my God.

Kristen (26:06)
It was good for a of us. It was definitely good for Scherzabitch, because people needed...

anxiety that everyone had across the board led to just a complete uptick in fidget spinner purchases. Yeah.

Geoff Garlock (26:16)
unchecked anxiety, just

Jason Gore (26:16)
I bet, I bet, yep.

Geoff Garlock (26:18)
no mental health besides just flipping on some dumb fidget spinner, just touching things. And there were so many Instagrams I started to follow just called at touching things, at touching things. Some of those were a little bit not what I thought they were going to be. Got a little nasty. ⁓ some got really MAGA, which was really interesting. And I was like, okay.

Kristen (26:20)
Right.

Touch and Thanks, Touch and Thanks, Click and Thanks.

Jason Gore (26:27)
Yeah. ⁓ God, I love it.

Kristen (26:31)
Mm-hmm. Well, yeah, sure, But the... Some of them were just people jumping.

Jason Gore (26:34)
Got nasty. I

Yeah.

Some were just called like.

Geoff Garlock (26:43)
Guess you're making

your own suntan lotion, that's fine. But, you know, then... Yeah. Somewhere called flicking it.

Jason Gore (26:46)
Some were just, ew, some were just called flicking it when I would just go quick through there real

quick and I'm just like, I'm not flicking it. ⁓ Crap, shoot. Begush. ⁓ I've got to say, you know, your medical division during COVID ⁓ released, what was you simply called? Masks? And it had a question mark at the end. Was it or wasn't it?

Kristen (26:53)
What was I saying? Well...

Geoff Garlock (26:54)
And that was

a definite crap shoot right there. If you were getting something that was gonna help out, go goosh.

Kristen (27:04)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, yeah.

The masks that we made were for the people who had to wear a mask but didn't want to. So we did the masks that were, they look like a mask on the outside, but there was a little hole for the mouth. And you could drink a drink through that. You could eat a hot dog through that. ⁓ Masks? And listen, we sold them. We sold a lot of them. Yeah.

Jason Gore (27:21)
Hmm. thank God. Nice. just. You did.

Geoff Garlock (27:32)
I'm sure, like if you're someone

who was really upset that a football player would kneel the national anthem then you definitely were like, let me get some masks?

Kristen (27:37)
That's our customer.

Jason Gore (27:37)
⁓

Kristen (27:42)
And once again, it

Jason Gore (27:43)
Masks?

Kristen (27:44)
all comes down to that customer. comes down to this person who could have been smart. You know, they have something. And then they chose not to be.

Geoff Garlock (27:48)
Could Could have been.

Jason Gore (27:49)
you

Geoff Garlock (27:52)
God, I mean those masks were really selling like hotcakes at that Jim ⁓ Human trafficking movie those things when you had that tie-in that was it that sure's a bitch of a tie-in right there

Jason Gore (27:53)
Okay.

Kristen (27:54)
Speech loss is going down.

Jason Gore (27:57)
⁓ God. ⁓ my God.

Kristen (28:01)
And what an honor.

these partnerships and that's the Scherzovich way. So there you go. Jim Caviezel. He is a talent and a producer, a good producer like myself. Listen, when you're the CEO of Sharney's,

Jason Gore (28:08)
My favorite actor in the entire world Jim Cavizio Cavizio yes, he's such a talent he's such a good ⁓

Geoff Garlock (28:14)
Cave's a yell.

⁓

Jason Gore (28:22)
Hey, hold on to that cock. We're

going to come right back. It's sports. When I say football, you say game football. from ⁓ any given sports field should be squares directly to your radio. that's a cattle in the wind. It's sports time on what a weight point nine. The hawk.

Kristen (28:34)
cream.

Jason Gore (28:50)
Steve? ⁓

Geoff Garlock (28:53)
Steve Temple Pirates.

Jason Gore (28:54)
Steve Temple Pilots, are you there?

Geoff Garlock (29:00)
Say anything about college football.

Jason Gore (29:01)
Anything at all.

You could say ball.

Geoff Garlock (29:06)
Just say, high school.

Jason Gore (29:08)
Say, Bagoosh! We've been saying it all morning. We're really, really excited for the upcoming show of Plaster. He's gonna be at the Verity Dome again. Bagoosh. Say, Bagoosh! Steve! I have him on the feed. It's coming from the station.

Geoff Garlock (29:17)
Say bagoosh, Jason. Wait, do we have him on the feed here? Is this actually?

I'm not going

to lie, Wisp. I'm a little worried about this loose cannon that you hired.

Jason Gore (29:27)
I mean...

I did not hire him.

Geoff Garlock (29:32)
I'm talking to Wisp, Jason. I am talking to Wisp. You did hire him. Don't pass the buck because you're worried about what Steve Temple Pilots is about to do.

Jason Gore (29:35)
I didn't hire him either.

I didn't do it. Hey,

any moment. Anything could happen.

Geoff Garlock (29:48)
He's probably gonna start

talking sports who knows I mean he's been See you double pilots you came in depressed. We don't know who you were you were hot and oh Jesus Christ

Jason Gore (29:52)
3, 2, 1, Steve Temple Pilots.

Jesus Christ,

I figured that's how it was gonna end.

Geoff Garlock (30:04)
Rest in power. Maybe. Maybe. What the hell is going on? I'm not gonna lie, Wisp. We should've gotten a fidget spinner. ⁓ From Shursabit Spinners, but...

Jason Gore (30:06)
Maybe. I don't know. Hey, but. We probably should have given that man a fidget spinner. ⁓

sure is a bitch. Best fidget spinners in the land. Hey, I do want to say give us a call. The hotlines are open in the 7am hour every morning. Of course, we got a hot topic. And today's hot topic is so who you screw in these days?

Geoff Garlock (30:36)
And if you can work in also talking about the new Scherzo Bitch Sharnies merger into that, it would be great. So who you screwing and if you screwed out of Sharnies, that would be even better.

Jason Gore (30:41)
Yeah. Yeah.

if you

have screwed Adasharney's in a buffet, maybe the chili buffet. I mean, that's in the past. That's not on you, Scherza bitch. That's not on you. Hey, but while we're talking, Maria and Scherza bitch. So who you screwing these days?

Geoff Garlock (30:51)
I mean, who hasn't? No, that's a past transgression.

Kristen (30:57)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Geoff Garlock (31:00)
Hmm.

Kristen (31:03)
I am still sleeping with the same guy I've been with for 20 years.

Jason Gore (31:07)
Solid,

Geoff Garlock (31:08)
Hey, solid.

Jason Gore (31:08)
solid, solid, solid, solid. Hey, hey, solid. What's that fella's name that he's getting it?

Kristen (31:10)
It is what it is. What you gonna do? No surprises.

Geoff Garlock (31:13)
What's that fella's- What's that

fella's name?

Kristen (31:17)
He's Ernie Shorzovich, who took my name.

Geoff Garlock (31:17)
He's...

Ernie Scherzo, bitch. So was like an Oprah move there. It was like a... ⁓

Jason Gore (31:20)
he took your ⁓ solid.

Kristen (31:22)
It's Shurzovich move. It's a Shurzovich move.

Jason Gore (31:24)
Yeah. Because Stedman's last name

is, Winfrey, right? It's Stedman Winfrey. Right? Right.

Geoff Garlock (31:28)
Yeah.

Kristen (31:29)
Right, and listen.

Geoff Garlock (31:30)
And you're big

friends with Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil and a bunch of other whack jobs too, so this all works out. Big friends with whack jobs.

Jason Gore (31:35)
You're big, big friends. You're big salad.

Kristen (31:37)
I

wouldn't necessarily say big friends, we do go to the, we do like have an annual barbecue.

Jason Gore (31:38)
Yeah.

Geoff Garlock (31:42)
And you have been to Copperfield Islands. Have you been to Copperfield Islands?

Jason Gore (31:44)
Have you been to Copperfield Island?

Kristen (31:48)
yeah. But not for... But not for weird reasons.

Jason Gore (31:49)
Of course she has. Probably. Yeah.

Geoff Garlock (31:49)
Probably with Jack White, I'm imagining, right?

Jason Gore (31:53)
Now,

Geoff Garlock (31:53)
no, no, no, no, he does that not for weird reasons weekend at Copperfield Island, that's always one of the best. Just magic, you just go for the magic, and he's angry about it, he's pissy about it, he's a real shitbag about it, like he usually is, my god.

Jason Gore (31:53)
what? Yeah, you just go for the magic. You just go for the magic. The other he's always like, I don't want to talk about fucking do the magic. No.

Kristen (31:57)
Right, right, I go for magic and.

It's magic

in sandcastles, I go for the sandcastles.

Jason Gore (32:09)
Ha ha ha ha ha. you got to choose. You got to choose. So 25 buffets, shirts a bitch. What are we talking? What are we? Numbers, right?

Geoff Garlock (32:10)
You gotta choose too, you get there to Copperfield Island, he goes, you gotta choose, pick one.

Kristen (32:14)
I, yeah.

Right? We've gone down 25. So again,

Geoff Garlock (32:19)
What do we got?

Kristen (32:22)
we have to go back to the basics. We have to go back to the things that got us here. so to that end, you're going to have all your favorites. You're going to have your bourbon chicken.

Jason Gore (32:25)
⁓ Solid.

Geoff Garlock (32:28)
Solid.

Jason Gore (32:35)
⁓ don't get me started. Don't get me. Now, how saucy we talking? Are we talking just like, whoa?

Kristen (32:39)
More sauce than chicken.

Geoff Garlock (32:41)
More sauce!

Less buffets, more sauce on the bourbon. Alright.

Kristen (32:44)
This is how we're going. When you take a bite of bourbon, of our bourbon chicken, of Sharney's bourbon chicken. Okay, I'm gonna take a bite. Just give me a sample because we are gonna give samples.

Jason Gore (32:49)
Now, now demonstrate for us. Take that bite.

It's the

radio, and gentlemen. She's okay. She opened.

Geoff Garlock (32:58)
Yeah, remember, yeah, this Tresor

Radio, so really make sure you're doing it into the mic, because they're really going to want to visualize with the sound.

Jason Gore (33:02)
She opened her,

she opened her shurs a bitch mouth and she just shoved in that bourbon dripping. I just imagined it dripping all over you. Got slop.

Kristen (33:04)
Mm.

And you're right. And so here's the thing. The first thing you're going to taste is that sauce. You're going to taste

that sugar, sweet, sticky slap. Next.

Jason Gore (33:17)
⁓

Geoff Garlock (33:20)
my gosh,

sweet sticky!

Kristen (33:24)
Exactly.

Geoff Garlock (33:26)
I want my sugar sweet sugar sweet sugar sweet sugar sweet sugar sweet slap.

Kristen (33:29)
Sticky

slop. I love that slop. And the thing about it is, they've changed the recipe. They've changed the recipe over the years. I remember loving that sugar sweet sticky slop. Yeah. It doesn't matter.

Jason Gore (33:35)
Mm-hmm. I had a t-shirt that said I love that slop.

We're out.

⁓ I knew lead was in it, but I loved

Geoff Garlock (33:47)
You know,

Jason Gore (33:47)
that sugar sweet slump.

Geoff Garlock (33:48)
I love that sugar sweet slop with lead.

Kristen (33:50)
Slicky Slap.

Jason Gore (33:54)
That commercial in my head

Kristen (33:55)
You're gonna get this.

Geoff Garlock (33:55)
I didn't see any problem with that Cisco

sugar sweet slop with lead. think Cisco makes a fine product and thank you Cisco. didn't know that Cisco the rapper who owns the thong song owns Cisco corporations? Yes, he provides so much to our prisons and elementary schools. This is fantastic. Now will we still have our salad bar with inexplicable make your own tacos at the end of

Jason Gore (34:00)
the 90s. I thought you were talking about the guy that did the thong song.

Kristen (34:03)
Yeah.

he does. He works for Cisco. Yeah, that's absolutely true.

Jason Gore (34:05)
They're the same right? ⁓ Cisco the food corporates. my

god. I learned something every day.

⁓

Kristen (34:15)
And what a great job he does.

Jason Gore (34:23)
Mmm, good question.

Kristen (34:23)
Well, see,

this is a great question. while we will have some of those favorites, we are going to have some new things. And to that end, we're going to get rid of the inexplicable taco station. And we are replacing that, listen to me, with a buffet full of fountains.

Geoff Garlock (34:26)
Thank you.

Jason Gore (34:41)
That's that's a buffet. wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

Geoff Garlock (34:43)
Buffet fububu bb bb bb bb bb bb bb bb bb bb

Kristen (34:46)
Exactly.

We're talking chocolate waterfall. We're talking chocolate fountain, salsa fountain. good. Well, more salsa. More salsa. It needs to be a little wet.

Geoff Garlock (34:53)
Pico de gallo.

Jason Gore (34:54)
Sawmill could wait could who did that sound could you

could you do the pico de gallo voice again?

Geoff Garlock (35:00)
Be good to go.

Jason Gore (35:01)
Begush. I loved every second you

got the goose. OK, the sawmill gravy fountain that has been completely banned since 1985 and it completely burned all of the flesh off of that one man.

Kristen (35:08)
Mm-hmm, that's great.

It's coming back.

Geoff Garlock (35:16)
But of course, we know,

Kristen (35:17)
It's coming back.

Geoff Garlock (35:17)
sawmill gravy is a Valverde exquisite recipe of little bit of coffee and a white sausage gravy and also cigarette butts.

Jason Gore (35:19)
Mmm tradition. Yeah

Kristen (35:21)
Classic tradition.

Jason Gore (35:25)
Table three over here a little bit of coffee and some sawmill gravy, please That's what the man said and then it just splish splashed and he's like they say you can still hear him screaming at your local Sharney's ⁓

Geoff Garlock (35:30)
Grrr!

Kristen (35:30)
What?

Geoff Garlock (35:34)
GAH!

And the whole time

the waiter's saying, my god, jeez. And he killed himself because it hurts so much.

Jason Gore (35:44)
Just break back into

Kristen (35:47)
Well, we are bringing

the sauerkraut gravy fountain back and it's hotter than ever. It's gonna be.

Geoff Garlock (35:52)
Hotter than ever,

Jason Gore (35:53)
Hotter

Geoff Garlock (35:54)
Jesus.

Jason Gore (35:54)
hot hot hotter than ever. How hot are we talking? We talking like what 200 degrees?

Kristen (36:00)
Have you ever been into the middle of the earth? That is how hot our song goes.

Geoff Garlock (36:00)
200.

Jason Gore (36:02)
Yes, I have. I

Geoff Garlock (36:04)
He has.

Jason Gore (36:04)
have.

I have. Yeah. I went to Copperfield's Middle of the Earth party.

Kristen (36:07)
How'd you get there?

Geoff Garlock (36:10)
He wanted to prove with Copperfield that the earth was flat. He proved wrong, that it's actually round as all hell. It's insanely round. He just kept screaming, wouldn't planes have to keep dropping 3000 feet? And it was just like, no man, it's proven. Jesus Christ.

Kristen (36:10)
Get this deep for me.

Jason Gore (36:14)
proved wrong and he's just like, God damn it. fucking shit. David Copperfield was so upset that day. I loved

Kristen (36:14)
or your second year.

you

than you know.

Jason Gore (36:27)
Yeah,

Martin Oakes was there and he played his song when it went down in Building 7. Just a solid hit. Solid. Are you gonna have Martin Oakes do any music for Sharney's? Okay, probably good idea. Marty? Just like Skiskezki.

Geoff Garlock (36:32)
my God. Good song.

Kristen (36:38)
we aren't and the reason is Marty Oaks was someone who he goes to the

Geoff Garlock (36:43)
you call him Marty, it's just like Skrsksksk.

Kristen (36:46)
barbecue. The reason why is because he was a smart guy who did as good as he was gonna do. You know what I'm saying? He's not someone

Jason Gore (36:51)
That's true, his other songs just haven't been

Geoff Garlock (36:52)
Yeah,

Jason Gore (36:53)
as good.

Geoff Garlock (36:53)
the other one's really blow, but when he goes, went down in building seven?

Kristen (36:56)
That one song!

Jason Gore (36:57)
Build in seven...

⁓ my god.

Kristen (36:59)
That one song

was as good as anybody could have possibly done. so therefore...

Geoff Garlock (37:02)
And as good as

he could do, because truly, again, really, pfft, like after that.

Kristen (37:06)
Not again, right?

But if you get your potential, if you do the thing that is all your potential, you're not a Sharney's customer. And you're not listening to this radio station either.

Jason Gore (37:08)
Yeah. Get your potential. Yeah, there is

Geoff Garlock (37:15)
Do

as much as your potential at Sharny's.

Jason Gore (37:16)
truly. no. At Sharney's Hey, phone line 42. Right, you're on the Geoff and whiz show. So who's screwing these days?

Kristen (37:19)
you

Geoff Garlock (37:28)
⁓ jeez, we're getting right into it? Okay. I'm screwing my best friends, mom.

Jason Gore (37:30)
Yeah, you're on, you're on the air, you're on the air, you're screwing these days.

⁓ my God, Maria Shurs a bitches on the line with us. She's she runs Sharney's now. Yeah.

Kristen (37:43)
⁓ Are you a Sharney's fan?

Geoff Garlock (37:47)
I'm sorry, Maria... Shurzabitch? Are you... Shurzabitch?

Kristen (37:50)
Shirt's a bitch.

Jason Gore (37:50)
Sure is a bitch. It's like one one word. It's

not sure is a bitch. I Don't know that for sure

Kristen (37:52)
Shirt's a bitch. Shirt's a bitch.

Geoff Garlock (37:55)
Is Stevie Scherzabitch

your son?

Kristen (37:58)
You know, it's a little steamy.

Geoff Garlock (38:00)
Okay, I should get off the line now. I'm sorry. Whoa, oh my goodness. I don't know. I didn't wanna know where that was going, but I also kinda wanted to know. I knew where it was going, keg stand! Jesus, keg stand, my God.

Jason Gore (38:02)
Ah, click. I don't really know where that was going. I don't always got a. All right, keg stand, stay in your hole.

Line 73, you're on. you. What's the what I win?

Geoff Garlock (38:21)
You're not winning anything sir. We need your name and a simple answer to who you screw in these days

Jason Gore (38:23)
Dug it.

Whoa.

Me right end of the day. Hey, I love Sharney's man. I've been eating at Sharney's. You know, my mama get birth to me at the Sharney's she was eating the all American burger and she was just shoving it into her gullet and she shoved sheet. No, let me I'm Johnny America.

Geoff Garlock (38:33)
My god, Jesus. This is a Sharney's customer.

Kristen (38:34)
Now this is a Sharni's customer.

Of course.

⁓

Geoff Garlock (38:45)
Wait a sec.

Kristen (38:48)
You are-

Geoff Garlock (38:49)
Is this Johnny America? The famed Sharney's Buffet Baby?

Jason Gore (38:54)
I am the famed Sharney's buffet, baby. If I had a flag, I'd wave it, but you wouldn't see it because it's the radio. ⁓ Yeah. So what's going on? What I win?

Kristen (38:54)
I know.

Geoff Garlock (38:58)
my goodness.

But I would know it was happening because you're Johnny America, my god.

Kristen (39:02)
I've heard such amazing stories.

Geoff Garlock (39:06)
You, no, you won nothing. You just needed to explain who you screw in these days and now we know about your Sharney's experience. Jesus.

Kristen (39:12)
And you told it.

Jason Gore (39:14)
Yeah,

wait, so why are we talking Sharney's though?

Kristen (39:17)
It's changing.

Geoff Garlock (39:17)
wait, wait, we have, sure as a bitch

Jason Gore (39:19)
Context

Geoff Garlock (39:19)
here.

Jason Gore (39:20)
would be good here.

Kristen (39:22)
Do you not listen to the radio stations that you call in?

Jason Gore (39:24)
hell no, I

just called the number and just hope to win something. can't believe you just hung up on Johnny America.

Geoff Garlock (39:25)
You just call random number. Alright, Jason, can we hang up on this guy, please? Jesus Christ. Even though, hey, we... We taut

Kristen (39:27)
want someone to talk to you.

Geoff Garlock (39:34)
our hat to Johnny America, buddy. Being a real jerk to sure is a bitch over here.

Jason Gore (39:35)
It's pretty fucked up at the end of the day. ⁓

Kristen (39:37)
So,

we'll start.

Jason Gore (39:38)
sure is a bitch, isn't it? Okay, so we got to go to break when we come back, we're gonna play a fun game with Maria shares a bitch But let's get into the hard rock that you know and love right here on the hawk

Geoff Garlock (39:47)
Ho ho ho ho.

Jason Gore (39:58)
What are we inaugurating Clinton again? My God. Hey, Jason, we inaugurating Clinton again. There's a man that's been to Copperfield's Island.

Geoff Garlock (40:00)
I got fucking Clinton here, Jesus Christ. some nut jobs calling in. Do you hear what we're saying here?

He's definitely gonna-

Kristen (40:11)
He's been to

Copperfield Island.

Jason Gore (42:29)
Songbird, what is it? Is it Fleetwood Mac Friday? Jason, is it Fleetwood Mac Friday?

Geoff Garlock (42:37)
It is? ⁓ Jesus, why did you tell us this? My God.

Jason Gore (42:38)
It is? well then... I mean Scotty

would have written something down for me, so... Yeah, I don't know. Kinda not really... Real son- Are you related to these sons of bitches? ⁓ okay, clearly.

Geoff Garlock (42:44)
The real ups and downs of Jason here is what I gotta say. My god, son of a bitch. Real son's a bitch if you ask me. Is he related to you?

Kristen (42:54)
Different family, different family, completely different group of people.

We all came over together on not the Mayflower, but the other one. It was the beehive. Smaller.

Jason Gore (43:00)
What was the other one? you were on the P body.

Geoff Garlock (43:01)
The Peabody, I think it was called. Yeah, the Mr.

Peabody. That little dog was on there, it was great. Loved it.

Jason Gore (43:06)
yep.

That makes

sense. That makes sense. You know what else makes sense, ladies and gentlemen? Of course, I'm talking Fun radio games, and we're to play one because we got a guest. We got a guest here. We got to play some fun radio games. And so in this game, ladies and gentlemen, it is called. Mall restaurant. Kids menu.

Geoff Garlock (43:22)
Ha ha ha ha, yeah!

Kristen (43:35)
you

Jason Gore (43:36)
So I'm going to look at a menu of a mall restaurant that's like an Applebee's, that's like a Sharney's, that's like a Bob Evans, that's like a Ryan's, that's like a Quaid's, that's like ⁓ that's like a Beaner's Beans, that's like a Two Hands, that's like a, that's like a Friendly's. But yeah, now here we go. You guys get to play. ⁓ my God.

Kristen (43:43)
Okay.

Quaid? Where is Quaid?

Geoff Garlock (43:49)
I love quades.

of friendlies.

This is gonna be a great game for the now CEO again of...

Sharnies!

Jason Gore (44:03)
my God. Kids menu. And we're looking at, course, everybody's second favorite because number one is Sharney's. We are talking the kids menu at Applebee's. Who wants to go first? Yep.

Kristen (44:11)
Thank you.

We want to guess what's on it?

Well, there's definitely a chicken tender.

Geoff Garlock (44:22)
my god.

I think I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna swoop in here

Jason Gore (44:25)
Is that correct? Give me the Clown Horn.

Clown Horn, that's correct. What is it called though? Does it have a fun name?

Geoff Garlock (44:33)
That's correct.

Bourbon Glazed Chicken Tendies. Really?

Kristen (44:36)
Mmm.

Jason Gore (44:39)
Wrong.

Kristen (44:40)
Little,

little crispies chicken tenders.

Jason Gore (44:42)
And run.

Geoff Garlock (44:45)
Mama Applebee's Crispy Tendies with Dippy Saucies.

Jason Gore (44:48)
Very close,

Kristen (44:49)
Okay.

Jason Gore (44:49)
very, very close, very, very close.

Kristen (44:52)
Little bees.

Geoff Garlock (44:52)
did I forget

with apple slices? Okay.

Jason Gore (44:54)
No, no, you're wrong.

Kristen (44:56)
Little bees.

Jason Gore (44:58)
my god, if they had called it Little Bees, that would make you think the whole time that Apple Bees in the name is part apple, part chicken fingers, right? Are the bees the chicken figure? No. Pair wasp. Nope, it's just called Kids Chicken Tenders. 1.2. Maria sure is a bitch.

Geoff Garlock (45:06)
Pear Wasps, little fingies.

Kristen (45:10)
What is it? is it?

Geoff Garlock (45:15)
Shersa, bitch, do think we could do better with our kids' names than what Applebee's is doing here?

Kristen (45:18)
I,

Jason Gore (45:18)
Yep.

Kristen (45:19)
Charny's has little fun games, like names, so I'm surprised.

Jason Gore (45:19)
Okay. What are what what is the chicken tender at Sharney's gonna be called with your new iteration of Sharney's?

Kristen (45:28)
Our chicken tender is going to be the same as it's always been. It's the big crunch.

Jason Gore (45:32)
the big crunch because it's so hard. You've got the hardest breading in restaurant tearing. Yeah.

Geoff Garlock (45:33)
Big Crunch.

Kristen (45:35)
It's the hardest.

Geoff Garlock (45:39)
It is just like, Jesus Christ.

Kristen (45:39)
that's what we're known for. We want our

customer to crunch and work for that. And you know,

Geoff Garlock (45:44)
Triple

fried and it is harsh on them teeth.

Jason Gore (45:47)
You want the

ultimate gobstopper of chicken tenders, basically is what you're trying for. OK, OK, OK, let's do this. Who wants to go next? Really, Jason? Shouldn't there be more rules instead of like who wants to go next? Christ, I'm going to give you a clownhorn for that. OK, I'm going to say, Geoff, you go next. What's on the what's on the menu?

Kristen (45:52)
You wanna feel it in your gullet.

you

Geoff Garlock (46:02)
It seems like it should be more rules. My god.

Alright, the...

Well, this is a Sunday from Friendly's. Now what are we calling...

Jason Gore (46:17)
⁓ Wrong

you can go for the steel Maria Scherzo bitch

Kristen (46:23)
I bet that there's going to be sliders. Like a little cheeseburger.

Jason Gore (46:26)
Okay,

Geoff Garlock (46:27)
this is

Jason Gore (46:28)
little

Geoff Garlock (46:28)
confusing, I thought you wanted me to come up with the item on a menu. Jason, again, you gotta get these rules before we start this. Makes no goddamn sense. Yeah, they're supposed to be clear from you!

Jason Gore (46:28)
cheeseburger, little cheeseburger. No, I'm, you got to be clear on the rules, Jason. I'm sorry, the rules are clear, guys. God. Yeah, they should be clearer from you. Thank you, Maria. Thank you. Yes, I want the game is guess the items.

Kristen (46:38)
I feel like the rules

To me, I completely have understood this game from very beginning. You want me to guess the items that are on Applebee's menu.

Jason Gore (46:52)
on the kids Applebee menus. I mean, Scotty never yelled at me like this. Never yelled.

Kristen (46:54)
Yeah. I have

Geoff Garlock (46:57)
God, he never yelled. He maybe would do a drop and

shake his head, but Jesus.

Kristen (46:59)
understood the parameters of this implicitly. So yeah, I get it. How could you not?

Jason Gore (47:03)
Okay, okay, redo,

redo, that never happened. We never heard Jason talk. A redo. ⁓ Maria, sure is a bitch, the board is yours. Bitch.

Kristen (47:13)
Well, did I

get the point? as a bit, I got the point. Just call me Maria.

Geoff Garlock (47:17)
my god, Freddy Krueger

was here for a second. ⁓

Jason Gore (47:18)
Freddy Krueger coming in

is a bitch. Okay, now it's Board is yours. Maria Maria. Bitch. Okay, let's go.

Geoff Garlock (47:21)
You're like working a word pun or something, Jesus Christ.

Kristen (47:25)
Please just please call me Maria

Geoff Garlock (47:29)
You got it, Trish, bitch.

What's on your kids menu, bitch? You're like, whoa, jeez, Freddy, it's not even a joke.

Kristen (47:34)
Okay, so.

Jason Gore (47:37)
Whoa, whoa, was that a line from?

Kristen (47:39)
Did I get that point? Did I get

that point though for the little cheeseburger? Okay, great. Next item that I think is on the kids menu at Applebee's.

Jason Gore (47:41)
You got two points on the board, little cheeseburger, little cheeseburger. Wait, wait, wait, before we do before that bitch, before we do that, I want to know what your little cheeseburger on the kids menu at Sharney's is called now.

Geoff Garlock (47:42)
Yeah, you got an important for a little cheeseburger.

Kristen (47:53)
It's gonna be called Little Cheeser. So we got the big crunch, we the big crunch, and we got the little cheeser.

Jason Gore (47:56)
Little Cheeser. Are you a little? Big Crunch. Little

Geoff Garlock (47:56)
Cheeser!

Jason Gore (48:01)
Cheeser. I have. No, I'm doing my bit. I'm a 14 year old boy and I'm not very hungry. I just want a little cheese. Here's your little cheese or bitch. And that's that was the Sharney's commercial that had Freddy Krueger in it. OK, you're go.

Geoff Garlock (48:02)
Now here's my question. Yeah, no, you do your bandana again.

Kristen (48:07)
⁓ no. ⁓

Geoff Garlock (48:15)
That's good. Oh my goodness. That's gonna be great. My God. And it was

Kristen (48:22)
It was, not

again.

Geoff Garlock (48:22)
the real Freddy Krueger, it wasn't Robert Engler. Here's my question though, also though, so we all know the kids map that they give to the kiddies at Sharney's with the little maze that you've gotta get the old man from the Unforgiven video out of the hole he's living in. Are we still gonna be able to let that little man escape?

Jason Gore (48:24)
No, it wasn't. ⁓

⁓ the kids mad. Yeah.

Kristen (48:38)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Jason Gore (48:41)
Are we

gonna be able to get the little man from the, ⁓ Are you taking that away from us?

Kristen (48:43)
We're doing something completely different. Mm-mm.

Geoff Garlock (48:44)
Are you taking this away from us?

Do not take away the unforgiven children's mat.

Jason Gore (48:49)
from the Metallica video of Unforgiven.

Kristen (48:51)
This thing that everyone

Geoff Garlock (48:52)
We dub thee unforgiven

Kristen (48:52)
knows, absolutely.

Geoff Garlock (48:54)
if you take that away from us.

Jason Gore (48:56)
Hashtag unforgiven, TikTok Gen Z.

Kristen (48:56)
We're in a new era.

We're in a new era of Sharney's. In the new era, we get the little man back. So the man is free and you need to trap him. That's what we the kids to do.

Jason Gore (49:03)
Okay.

Geoff Garlock (49:05)
⁓ Wow.

Jason Gore (49:06)
Oh, I'm gonna give you a clue.

Geoff Garlock (49:08)
So he's not escaping then. He was escaped and he got out, he's living his life again.

Kristen (49:10)
He was escaped

and we want the kids to trap him.

Jason Gore (49:15)
⁓ I love that! You get the clown horn for that!

Geoff Garlock (49:15)
And then underneath, yeah.

And is there gonna be like a little word file where, or that you fill in the letters and it'll say, where one goes, we all go underneath there? It's sort of a.

Kristen (49:27)
This new version of Kikisle, we've all played this game. All the kids grew up playing this game. It's gonna be something new. And so this new one's gonna be like a word find and it's gonna have a lot of little words. And the first word that you circle is the word that you are. But we're gonna sprinkle like good words and bad words. So if you, the first word that you see in this like little tangle of words, it.

Jason Gore (49:32)
Uh-huh.

Geoff Garlock (49:45)
Hold on, let

me look. Mouth breather. That's what they mostly would see.

Jason Gore (49:48)
Mouth breather.

Kristen (49:49)
Exactly, that's what you see. So, but maybe you're like straight A student and that's great, but there's only one straight A student and the rest are about exactly not you. And that's why you host the Strativstation

Jason Gore (49:49)
Yep, yep, yep. Not me. Seize.

Geoff Garlock (49:55)
Yeah.

Kristen (49:58)
and that's why you're our favorite customer at Tarni's.

Jason Gore (50:00)
average as hell. Hey, that's. Can I get out of the game, Maria?

Geoff Garlock (50:00)
Average as hell can just kind of wrap around there. That one works.

Kristen (50:04)
Knit people, knit food.

Sorry. Geez. Okay.

Geoff Garlock (50:10)
Sure's a bitch over here.

Jason Gore (50:11)
Jesus Christ.

And that was Kids Menu Mole Game on 108.9 The Hawk. you want, excuse me. Well, I'm going to say to you, get off my plane. If you keep having that attitude, you're going to get off my plane. And by that, mean this clearly being very contained and very good deck.

Kristen (50:19)
You guys are about to lose your discount. You're about to lose your discount.

Geoff Garlock (50:29)
Ha ha.

Kristen (50:34)
Alright.

Jason Gore (50:38)
that we're all out here just baking in the sun at the 108.9 The Huck Beach House. No issues whatsoever. My God, what was that? Don't move your fingers. Jason, what was that? ⁓ my God. ⁓ my God, it's going!

Kristen (50:44)
Listen.

Geoff Garlock (50:48)
My god, none at all. ⁓ I keep trying to not do it.

Jason, Jesus! ⁓

We're going down!

Jason Gore (51:07)
Okay, that's the-

Geoff Garlock (51:07)
I'm alright!

Cake stand!

Jason Gore (51:10)
Chris and Bartlett welcome to 108.9 the Hawk.

Kristen (51:11)
on the beach?

I don't understand.

Geoff Garlock (51:17)
it's a fucked up beach, Valverde.

Jason Gore (51:17)
I will let you it's a fucked up

beach. We're also two blocks away from the beach Kristen. We're nowhere near the water like we're not we're not close to it. You have to walk. It's like one of those

Geoff Garlock (51:22)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kristen (51:23)
⁓ right. I thought a round was on the beat.

Geoff Garlock (51:27)
This is when you

misread an Airbnb and then you're like, uh-oh, I guess I really gotta carry those noodles far.

Kristen (51:30)
Or with intentional.

Jason Gore (51:31)
Yeah. Or you or

your house is on the intercontinental waterway instead of the beach. And you have to like get your wagon and walk to the fucking beach every day and you're like, it's too hot. I'm too tired to walk to the beach today. Get your

Kristen (51:38)
Hmm. The beach, yeah, it's on the inside.

Geoff Garlock (51:45)
Get your wagon and walk to the fucking beach.

Kristen (51:48)
Did that happen to you guys? My mom would never. Is that

something you guys did? Did you guys have to travel?

Jason Gore (51:54)
But you know for a fact that I didn't see the ocean until I was 15?

Kristen (51:59)
I forgot.

Geoff Garlock (52:02)
You didn't think it existed.

Kristen (52:04)
His grandparents... And you were not far!

Jason Gore (52:04)
I had no way. I man, all it,

all it is, is the new river.

Kristen (52:08)
You are so not far from the ocean tube.

Jason Gore (52:10)
I was six hours from the beach and dad was like,

Geoff Garlock (52:11)
You were proto

flat earth, you just thought there were oceans.

Jason Gore (52:14)
I was six hours from the beach and dad was like, no, we're going to Gettysburg again this year.

Kristen (52:15)
Your family.

I tell people about that because I

tell people about when you, I took you to Disney World for the first time.

Jason Gore (52:26)
First time as like a 30 year old and I was just like,

Geoff Garlock (52:28)
Gettysburg

trip was one of the worst trips I ever went on with my dad because I think I told you he had a audio cassette guided tour and I was laying in the back of our Bronco 2, seats down, just like rolling around going like, it's so hot, I'm so bored.

Jason Gore (52:38)
huh.

And

if you take a turn here, you will see the Devil's Den. If you... We're gonna eat at the goddamn smorgasbord! Shut up!

Geoff Garlock (52:50)
He's like, we're gonna have fun later, we're going to Amish country.

Get some jam!

Kristen (52:58)
Hey, did you even go to Busch Gardens today? Like they didn't, that sucks. That's like barely.

Jason Gore (53:00)
No, no, I didn't go to

King's Dominion in Richmond until I was in high school. but but but but but but but but but I did go to Carowinds in Charlotte, when I was 11 or 10. And then dad had a heart attack there. And he was like, I can't make it to the car. And I'm like, my god, my dad's gonna die at Carowinds. We should go to Gettysburg.

Kristen (53:14)
Right.

tour.

Geoff Garlock (53:25)
said, is where we don't go to these things.

Kristen (53:25)
my god. We're going to

a different battlefield next year where he's not going to have a heart attack. That blows dude. That's like borderline chance.

Jason Gore (53:33)
Why didn't we go to Chickamauga?

Hahaha!

Geoff Garlock (53:43)
That's the name of his autobiography. It's just Jason going like this. just says borderline child abuse.

Kristen (53:43)
It is!

Jason Gore (53:45)
Yeah. Yeah. My head

Kristen (53:49)
Complicated things.

Jason Gore (53:49)
on my hand winking.

Kristen (53:51)
Complicated things to talk about with your therapist in 20 years.

Geoff Garlock (53:53)
you

Jason Gore (53:53)
Oh my

God. Talk to my therapist. I'm like the Patriots are doing good.

That show fired me!

Kristen (54:02)
Okay,

let's let's maybe like take a break from the patreon and go back to this thing like to your

Geoff Garlock (54:07)
This is where we should be talking about the Patreon now on 108.9 the Hawk. If you enjoyed

this and our other materials, join our Patreon.

Jason Gore (54:13)
It is doing great. No, it is.

And we love all of our but I've just got a lot of trauma, guys. I got a lot of trauma is what I'm saying.

Kristen (54:15)
I'm sure. And you deserve it. You deserve every penny.

Geoff Garlock (54:22)
That's the sequel to your book. It's just the other fist,

the other eye waking, got a lot of trauma. ⁓

Kristen (54:27)
Like, was

that fucked up?

Jason Gore (54:29)
What, did I have a lot of trauma? Well, no!

Kristen (54:31)
No, no, no,

that's like the subtitle of your book. It's I have a lot of traumas. Was that thing that happened to me fucked up or was it just the normal thing that I've told everybody as a joke for 30 years?

Jason Gore (54:34)
Is that prox up?

Well, here's, here's

the crazy thing about me and my family. And I've told Kristen this many, many times. Kristen knows, like, I grew up thinking my family was perfectly sane. Like I was like, I sold you.

Kristen (54:50)
Yeah, you sold me on Abilicus.

Geoff Garlock (54:52)
This is the problem often

we all have, and then when you get older and you see other families, you're like, wait a second, there's not that much yelling?

Kristen (54:55)
Yeah. wait a minute.

Jason Gore (55:00)
I told you on a family that is just like completely normal and happy and having meals at local Italian restaurant and then you know dad. It really was it really was. what. So what do you think. You get to you get two weeks at Colonial Williamsburg whenever you want it.

Kristen (55:09)
Very sweet, ugly people.

Geoff Garlock (55:11)
It was like a timeshare presentation to you, Kristen. It was just like, the family you're gonna join, if we fall in love, will be wonderful and have no problems.

Kristen (55:17)
Nothing weird at all.

Geoff Garlock (55:25)
You just need to listen to me talk about it for 20 years and longer. Gagoosh!

Kristen (55:25)
She was like... We're

Jason Gore (55:28)
my goose.

Kristen (55:31)
gonna work through some things, we're gonna figure it out together.

Jason Gore (55:33)
Yeah, true truly fucked up family a fucked up right but I couldn't do it with anyone else. Which is a very sweet thing to say. I was talking to Geoff I but but also you too Kristen. Yeah.

Kristen (55:41)
⁓ that's so sweet. Our vows would be so different. He was talking to Geoff. That's fair. It takes a village. It takes a village

Geoff Garlock (55:43)
He was talking to me, his other wife, sorry.

Kristen (55:50)
to be married to Jason.

Jason Gore (55:52)
So Kristen specifically said, I don't want to talk about plugs.

Kristen (55:57)
I didn't, because I'm working on one thing that I can't talk about.

Jason Gore (55:59)
I know that so

I'm gonna say, what have you been doing this summer? I know I know you will talk about it.

Kristen (56:03)
Oh, I've been gardening. That's what I've been doing. I'm gonna talk all about it. Are you ready? So

yeah, so my goal, one of my goals is set goals every year and half the goals are like work goals and then half of the goals are like personal goals and when, I don't know, when we slid into fascism, I was like, you know what? I need to be a prepper. Sliding into fascism. It's more of a manifesto than a fact.

Jason Gore (56:23)
Wait,

Geoff Garlock (56:25)
That's the name of my autobiography.

Kristen (56:33)
But it's like gentle takeover. You slip in it, you slide. Yeah, no, so then I made this into hatred. Oh God, so when that happened, I was like, oh, well, I'm going to become a Doomsday Prepper. And so I made like multiple Doomsday Prepping goals. And we have go bags, which is great. have like, we have like, we already had one, but now we have two.

Jason Gore (56:37)
Hahaha

Slippin' in, slidin' in hate.

Bagoosh. ⁓

Geoff Garlock (56:45)
Buggies!

Jason Gore (56:51)
Right.

We do crank radios. We got

Geoff Garlock (57:02)
mean, you

Jason Gore (57:03)
more. Right. Never happens.

Geoff Garlock (57:03)
should have those just because we live in California and your neighborhood could burn down. my god, my neighborhood. That could never happen.

Kristen (57:04)
No, 100%. We had...

⁓ no, trauma. Speaking

of trauma, new trauma.

Jason Gore (57:16)
That's a sound

from me and Julio ⁓ down by the schoolyard. But it's also crying. That's how I cry.

Kristen (57:27)
Yes, so we should have had all those things. I think I used to be more of a doomsday prepper and then the pandemic happened. I got real chill about it. I was like, we're gonna be fine because it's gonna last forever. And that's what this

Jason Gore (57:35)
Only thing that

kills us is what we can breathe.

Kristen (57:40)
And so, we did all the things that you're supposed to do. And then one of my other girls was like, you know what, maybe I'll start a little herb garden. And so we bought on the birth, little herb garden.

Geoff Garlock (57:49)
Little herb garden, you know what

Jason Gore (57:52)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Geoff Garlock (57:53)
I'm I know exactly what you're talking about, Bagoosh.

Kristen (57:54)
The goose. And so I

am a member of the Burbank Growers Facebook group, which I joined. It's a great group. I love them. I love them. I joined because we had fruit trees and I needed help. Like, who wants these extra fruit? I need you to help me. But then I learned about growing things. so I, Jason and went and picked up, we bought a very small raised garden bed and we have grown

Geoff Garlock (58:03)
Love it.

Jason Gore (58:04)
which is a great group.

Yep.

Geoff Garlock (58:23)
get a cowboy

tub or you get a, what kind you get? Like the, yeah.

Kristen (58:25)
I don't even know what that is.

Jason Gore (58:26)
We didn't get a cowboy tub.

just it's like a wooden planter that was built. Yeah, cowboy tub would be good though.

Kristen (58:28)
I'm still learning. It's like a little planter and we are growing.

Geoff Garlock (58:30)
Yeah, I had to take mine down at

one point because of turbomance. I had to sit there and take it apart.

Kristen (58:35)
⁓ no, okay,

Jason Gore (58:36)
oooo

Kristen (58:37)
good to know, good to know. But I've also, I'll,

this is, I think it'll be okay. So we had, we started by growing three tomatoes, three tomato plants, and then the tomato plants, like, really flourished, so we moved one of the tomatoes to a new pot. ⁓ We're also growing jalapenos and strawberries. We grew some potatoes. What else have we grown, Jason? Basil.

Jason Gore (58:44)
Mm-hmm.

basil we've got some nice succulents around we had ⁓

Kristen (59:02)
yeah. But I think I'm more motivated by growing food, because I don't know what it is. I'm

very excited to I don't know, growing what eat. And every morning, every morning I check my tomatoes and it makes me really happy.

Jason Gore (59:11)
man ⁓ lip

Every

morning I go out and check my made-ers. And I'll get out of bed just like, God. I'll take my CPAP mask off. It's like Vader getting out of his thing.

Geoff Garlock (59:17)
Check my buttons

Kristen (59:17)
with me and I'll say Jason come see this one like like there'll be like

I'll like, I'd be so

excited. It's just like, I welcome these little tomatoes and I like get really excited for you. Or when they finally...

Geoff Garlock (59:35)
mean the next

step is that you can start to do this without doing it with the mentality of prepping and more that it's just nice to grow things.

Kristen (59:43)
It's just a nice thing to do.

Jason Gore (59:43)
It's very nice.

She goes out like every two weeks and she trims the trees and everything and, and she's so good at it. And it's fun, but it's also relaxing. It's really mean, it's also, it's very nice to eat your own we've been growing purple tomatoes, and they're delicious. They're delicious.

Geoff Garlock (59:48)
Yeah.

Kristen (59:48)
Yeah, I prune.

Geoff Garlock (59:53)
Yes.

Kristen (59:53)
It's very lovely.

Yeah, delicious. And

Geoff Garlock (59:59)
Yeah, they are.

Kristen (1:00:02)
we have growing pomegranate or asparagus, which are sauce tomatoes. We have our first ripe one. And little beef steaks. I'm very excited, which I already have and do. I cook a lot. like this is, I mean, like cooking the things that I've grown. That's a new step. I don't know.

Jason Gore (1:00:06)
Mm-hmm.

Geoff Garlock (1:00:07)
Make a good gravy.

I mean, your next step

could be harvesting ⁓ monarch butterflies like my wife is doing herself.

Jason Gore (1:00:22)
my god, really? Do you have a lot of monarchs?

Kristen (1:00:23)
Awwww, how's it going?

Geoff Garlock (1:00:25)
Wait, she's trying to get more. mean, she's got milkweed that we got from the theater pain. And yeah, they love that lot of it, but you bet those and you got those, those caterpillars growing on there and then they disappear one day. It's a real Charlotte's web situation. They really just leave you one day, but.

Kristen (1:00:28)
And lavender is good, right?

Jason Gore (1:00:30)
love eating milkweed.

Kristen (1:00:38)
What a treat. Aww. You know, that

Jason Gore (1:00:43)
And then

Kristen (1:00:43)
happened

to us with birds. I would say that's another summer thing that happened to us. We had two nests. It's been a very different life here in LA after New York. yeah, we monitored two doves. Like two doves.

Jason Gore (1:00:49)
Mm-hmm.

what we had

we had dove babies and then we had to the finches were assholes the finches were never fun in any way whatsoever ⁓

Kristen (1:01:01)
finches.

They're more independent.

Geoff Garlock (1:01:04)
See, I like our- we've got finches, but we- the finches have to deal

with the fucking squirrel who takes all my fucking shit. And I gotta deal with that goddamn squirrel just so I want those finches to be able to get in there.

Jason Gore (1:01:09)
⁓

The squirrels don't fuck with any of our stuff because of Freddy. Our dog. Freddy runs through and they're like, we're not fucking with that at all.

Kristen (1:01:16)
Freddie's a maniac. Yeah.

Geoff Garlock (1:01:20)
They don't fuck with when Harry comes, but...

Kristen (1:01:20)
Someone asked me like advice for like how to

keep squirrels from eating your tomatoes. I was like, we have a maniac.

Jason Gore (1:01:26)
We have a maniac

dog that runs outside barks at nothing and does laps. This is like, we had the peach on the vine.

Kristen (1:01:31)
and don't worry about anything. had a peach on the vine. sweetest

Geoff Garlock (1:01:31)
Sounds about right.

⁓ the peach on the vine.

Kristen (1:01:40)
peach. The house already has a peach tree, like a tiny baby juvenile peach

Jason Gore (1:01:45)
peaches.

Geoff Garlock (1:01:46)
peaches man.

Jason Gore (1:01:56)
Did you know that peaches come from a camp?

Geoff Garlock (1:02:01)
millions of peaches peaches for me yeah yeah

Jason Gore (1:02:03)
One. One peach for Kristen and I.

Kristen (1:02:04)
One piece for me.

And we split this peach and we ate it together like we did we made it go further.

Jason Gore (1:02:10)
We put it on vanilla ice cream like the best. ⁓

Geoff Garlock (1:02:13)
Sometimes Sometimes

with gardening you're like I put in a lot of work For some dumb shit. I should have just gone to Trader Joe's like we had this Jason's maybe so no there We used to have a peach tree that was like a dead tree that someone grafted another Living peach tree onto it So it was like should have fallen over, but it did live again every season would grow peaches Once we got some peaches on it and we got maybe two

Jason Gore (1:02:18)
Yes.

Kristen (1:02:19)
For one thing? Sure, absolutely.

Jason Gore (1:02:32)
It will live again.

Geoff Garlock (1:02:41)
but the squirrels would get them all. And when we got here, we're like, it's okay. Could just go to Trader Joe's, but that's cool.

Jason Gore (1:02:45)
Hey guys.

Kristen (1:02:45)
It's fine. Well, this was a great one.

Well, that's the joy of gardening. There's a lot of pleasure. Sometimes there's a little pain. And that's what I've loved doing this summer. It's been a beautiful summer, actually. Haven't you loved this summer? Like, except for everything that's happening. Like, internally, it's been nice. Like, I've been, it's been great weather. It's, I feel a very...

Jason Gore (1:02:53)
pleasure a little pleasure little plane guys that's good that is it's been right

Geoff Garlock (1:02:53)
There is a low pleasure, low pain.

Jason Gore (1:03:06)
Yeah.

Geoff Garlock (1:03:07)
This is why being

a person always thinks that the world is a nightmare, because then I'm just like, yeah man, it's great. Yeah, human equal garbage, that's cool, that's fine.

Kristen (1:03:12)
It is what it is.

Jason Gore (1:03:15)
I would

like to end this episode in this interview portion with the with the items you guys did not get on the Applebee's kids menu.

Kristen (1:03:20)
Okay, it's done.

Geoff Garlock (1:03:28)
please.

Kristen (1:03:28)
hahaha,

this game.

Jason Gore (1:03:30)
So

here we go. You missed out on the kids and the I am reading it as their titles.

Kristen (1:03:32)
Hot dog? Hot dog?

I'm gonna agree.

Geoff Garlock (1:03:37)
Welcome to

also being Jason's comedy partner. Let me bring back the thing you forgot about an hour ago. Yeah. 100%. Oh, if we could get a screen.

Jason Gore (1:03:43)
You forgot. Kids cheat.

Kristen (1:03:44)
This thing that kinda worked. I love you. I love you so much. I love you.

Jason Gore (1:03:55)
Kids cheesy pizza kids chicken tenders kids chicken quesadilla kids corn dog kids chicken alfredo kids chicken taco kids macaroni and cheese kids classic cheeseburger see

Geoff Garlock (1:04:07)
This is where my guess of kids bourbon chicken

wasn't that crazy, it's just they just shove the word kids onto some bullshit.

Jason Gore (1:04:11)
Kids

Kristen (1:04:11)
Yeah.

Jason Gore (1:04:13)
kids classic

hamburger kids grilled cheese my goo ish still put the fish good news ⁓ All right. Well, there you go. The bit actually worked now it fucking work

Geoff Garlock (1:04:15)
Kidzupe the Pesh-gadoosh.

Kristen (1:04:20)
Ha ha ha!

That

was a great bit. liked it. I loved it. You did good.

Jason Gore (1:04:27)
All right. Well,

I love you and I will see you in a second. And we love all of you listeners. Thank you for listening to 108.9 the hawk. Support us on the Patreon, patreon.com slash 108.9 the hawk. Here's more information on that.